Double Trouble

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Pink Pizza Club

Fighting Words Dublin, Ballymun Youth Block, 31 March 2026

This brilliant new short play was written by Celina, Tihanna, Lee and Jayden at the Ballymun Youth Block on 31-03-2026.

Characters:
Scruffy Dodedoo,
12, he’s a boy, lives in a bin-shed, he wears a pair Yeezys and boxers, he’s a nice person but he doesn’t have any friends, he likes to help people.
Fishy-Wishy, 13, he wears a Rolex watch, wears Balenciagas, he wears normal glasses, he has a heart, he’s a very nice person.
Flower Duffy-Wuffy
Pizza Joe

Scene One

We hear a loud bang from upstairs and then Scruffy Dodedoo and Fishy-Wishy let out a big Scream!!

Scruffy Dodedoo

Will we go upstairs and check?

Fishy-Wishy

Yeah.

Scruffy Dodedoo

We need help there is someone upstairs, call the Garda!!!

Fishy-Wishy

Let’s wait it out.

Scruffy Dodedoo

No, let’s go up and check now.

Fishy-Wishy

Let’s grab our runners first.

As they both go upstairs they hear a whisper.

Scruffy Dodedoo

What was that?

Fishy-Wishy

That was someone whispering and did you hear the footsteps?

Scruffy Dodedoo runs down and locks himself in the bathroom.

Fishy-Wishy (shouts)

Come out and fight me like a man.

Flower Duffy-Wuffy (sings)

I’m not a man, I’m a women.

Flower Duffy-Wuffy hit’s him a few digs in the nose.

Fishy-Wishy

Oh sorry I didn’t know you were a girl. What are you doing here?

Flower Duffy-Wuffy

I only came in to use your toilet. I’m homeless and need a bed to sleep in.

Scruffy Dodedoo

Who’s up there?

Flower Duffy-Wuffy

It’s only me Flower Duffy-Wuffy, I need a tissue for me nose because Scruffy Dodedoo is after hittin’ me a few digs.

Scruffy Dodedoo

We didn’t know that was you, we will bring up the tissue now.

Fishy-Wishy

Would you like to stay for some cheese pizza?

Flower Duffy-Wuffy

I don’t like pepperoni on a pizza.

Scruffy Dodedoo

I don’t like pizza I ordered chips and chicken goujons and I can share them with you Flower Duffy-Wuffy.

Flower Duffy-Wuffy

I don’t like goujans.

Scruffy Dodedoo

You don’t need to eat them.

Pizza Joe from Pizza arrives with the food.

Pizza Joe

Here’s your food that will be €25.50 because you got the hungry deal.

Fishy-Wishy hands the money over with a €5 tip.

No that’s too much.

Fishy-Wishy

No, because you gave us a good deal.

Pizza Joe (to Flower Duffy-Wuffy)

Your dog bit my leg two weeks ago when I was walking across Belclare Road in Poppo, and I couldn’t move it, I had to get a tetanus shot in me bum.

Flower Duffy-Wuffy

I don’t care. Not my problem.

Scruffy Dodedoo

Why are you getting cheeky with the Pizzaman, you are getting’ free food off us, you can jog on now!

Flower Duffy-Wuffy

Well I’ll apologise then.

Scruffy Dodedoo

Would you like to come in and have a slice of pizza, Pizza Joe?

Pizza Joe

Yeah sure, I love Pizza.

The End!