Thomas the TV Salesman

By Tim O’Leary (2018)

It all began when someone left the window open…

Earlier that day, a thunderstorm was forecast to come at around 1.30 PM.  Nobody really took it seriously, since Met Éireann is nearly always wrong.  Enter Thomas Flanagan, a narcissistic TV salesman.  Yeah, I know.  Weird combination, but just stay with me.  Not only was Thomas egotistical, he also has notorious anger issues.  Nearly every time a customer would pull out of buying a TV, he’d go completely ballistic and, in one way or another, would smash said TV on the ground, breaking it in the process. 

Such behaviour prompts the question: How on Earth does Thomas still have his job? Well, it’s complicated.

As nearly everyone knew about Thomas’s… issues, they’d either avoid the place altogether or, more often than not, buy a TV no matter the cost to avoid – well we all know what at this point.  This equals higher income to the store’s owners, Thomas’s filthy rich and half-minded parents, who instead of scolding Thomas for his ruthless grudge against unsold TVS would pay for all the TVs he breaks, thus Thomas has less time learning his mistakes and more time stroking his hairspray-infused brown hair.  Got it?  Ok, let’s move on.

As Thomas got dressed for work, thinking of multiple ways to destroy innocent Samsung flat screens, clouds began to form above his house.  As usual, he was more interested in his mop of hair on his head than whatever was going on outside, so he took no notice of it.  He went outside to his car, and then noticed the clouds. 

They were a dark grey colour and were very prominent.  Thomas then looked back to see his front window wide open, a perfect entry point for robbers or wildlife of some sort.  Thomas shrugged it off, because, “who would dare rob the great Thomas Flanagan?” he thought.

A lot of people, in fact.  And today was the perfect day…