Scratchy, Mario And The Hairy Wife

St. Joseph's CBS, 5th Class, 01022010
Once upon a time in Ballybough, the health inspector walked into Scratchy’s chipper.Scratchy’s wife shouted at Scratchy “you’re too lazy to get rid of the rats!!!”

A boy walked in and bought chips for €2.99 and coke for €1. He walked out of the chipper, tasted the chips and threw them on the ground. “I should have gone to Nico’s.”

Scratchy was having his bath in the canal. He put all the rats into the canal with him. Scratchy’s son Mario came along wearing clothes that didn’t fit him. Mario didn’t fit in the Atlantic Ocean.

Scratchy was swimming in the canal when he nearly drowned, and he had to go to hospital because he got Weil’s disease.

The rats had baptised him in the canal and when his wife came to see him in the hospital he said to her “If I don’t come back scratch my tombstone…”

Scratchy’s wife gave him a chip and after he ate it he said “that’s maaaach betterrrr..” Scratchy started selling chips in the hospital and made the patients even sicker.

Scratchy’s wife went back to the chipper after two weeks and the health inspector was still there.

Scratchy was still in the hospital so he couldn’t come back.

He had an itch for two weeks and his wife scratched it for him.

After another week Scratchy came back to the chipper and sang “scratch attack!!”

Just then the health inspector said “I’m closing this place down, it’s in bits, it’s a kip!!”