Meet the Cranks

Our Lady of Victories BNS, Ballymun, 6th Class, 19th February 2009
One morning in his office at Fighting Words, Mr. McCrankey is trimming his ear hairs and thinking about firing his staff. 

He takes a puff of one of his big, stinky cigars and snarls at the children out in the courtyard.

“I’m sick of you kids!  Get out of here!  Leave me in peace to smoke my cigar,” he shouts.


The kids get a fright and run off home, leaving Mr. McCrankey feeling quite pleased with himself.  He can’t, though, help feeling a little lonely – as usual.

As the kids are running out, they cross the path of local man, Baldy Eagle.

“I hate those kids too!  They should respect their elders,” he growls.

Seeing what has happened, they realise they’ve a common interest.  Baldy Eagle invites Mr. McCrankey into his house for a cup of tea where they start to make a plan.

Mr. McCrankey and Baldy Eagle decide that they’re going to go to Albert College and cause some trouble for the kids playing there. There are kids climbing trees, and others are flying kites.

“You have more hair on your face than you have on your head,” shouts one of the boys, slagging Baldy Eagle.

The shine of sun from Baldy Eagle’s shiny head starts to blinds the kids up in the trees.

It creates a nice distraction for Mr. McCrankey, who can then cut the kite strings of the kids flying kites.

The cries of the children start to fill the air....