Me, My Pretzel Legs, and the Golden Banana

Citywise Education, Jobstown, 2 July 2009
Chapter I

In the Beginning of the Beginning

In the beginning of the beginning, Bob Jackson, Michael’s brother, and Aldolf Mitler were best childhood friends.

Bob and Aldolf were playing football in Croke Park. While going for the ball at the same time, they collided. Aldolf’s legs looked like pretzels—both were completely broken.

“I’ll get my revenge!” Aldolf  yelled.

An ambulance and the Gardaí came, so Bob ran away. He was scared of being blamed for the accident.

On the way to the hospital, the back doors of the ambulance flew open and Mitler fell out of the wheelchair, finding himself in the middle of a jungle.

Just then, the natives came out, and started poking him with sticks, saying “Man with pretzel legs! Me hungry, can I have a pretzel leg?”

“They are NOT pretzel legs!” roared Mitler with embarassment. “I want to get my legs working again.”

“You must seek the Golden Banana! It gives eternal life. But in return, you must give us all the pretzels in the world.”

“I guess we’ll have to fly to Fatima for that. There’s a secret pretzel bank underneath Fatima flats,” Aldolf Mitler replied.

“Where is this Fatima you speak of?” the natives asked.

“It’s beside Rialto in the middle of Blackhorse. The only way to get there is to use a rocket-powered bamboo wheelchair.”

Chapter II

In the Middle of the Middle…