1Untitled 2Untitled Mad Girl’s Love Song Untitled 4Untitled 5Congenital

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Human-Type

By Sorcha 

1. 

take me back to the dark, dark room

with your warm hand in mine

breaking icicles in my frozen veins

2.

It was eight months the other day. 

The court case is soon

Someone to blame for your death

Your old best friend blames herself 

She’s drinking every Sunday to forget

But I don’t think it’s working

[I’ve realised alcohol can’t solve your problems]

I did not cry for five days after

I went to school and did my sums

Someone else’s oxygen filled my lungs

I hit hair ties against my wrist 

To remind myself I still exist

[The bobbin left marks, but at least it felt real]

My lover brought me a rose - it died

Just like your red hair - I eventually cried

When they finally brought your coffin outside

I thought I was fine (I guess I lied)

I screamed at my parents - a kid is dead!

Fourteen years old - is your hair still red?

Or has it withered away, like the memory of you

The reality I wished would never be true

[I write more now, and I think you tint everything]

The world goes on but your world’s torn apart

The boy that left roses on your grave broke my heart

And your friend still over-drinks

She’s in therapy because she over-thinks

And I hate myself for making your death into art

[Is there always yin in the yang?]

 

3. Mad Girl’s Love Song

I dreamt you came back again last night

With gentle, warm hands and a new-found fight

I dreamt you set my heart alight

(I have to sleep to feel, now)

 

I dreamt you apologised to me

With cupid’s lips and on god’s knees

I granted forgiveness to you with ease

(I have to sleep to feel)

 

I dreamt you kissed me, even my neck

And left me marks with ‘what the heck’

I gave you my body and soul to wreck

(I have to sleep to feel)

 

I dreamt you loved me, in a trance

Fed my parched lips with your romance

I thought again we had a chance

(I have to sleep to feel)

 

I dreamt you broke my heart again

With gentle hands, and even then

I chose you over all other men

(I have to sleep to feel)

 

I conjure you up whenever I sleep

And darkness has become my relief

How is it that you seem so real?

(Nowadays I have to sleep to feel)

4.

you, not flowers

satisfy my dream

5.

with who can I leave

Bouquets of good flowers?

Kiss salt in the sour ocean

You left dark messages at night-time

And I miss them anyway

You, not flowers

Satisfy my dream

On your bike in your red helmet

Outside my house with plucked roses

And I miss them everyday

 

We’d walk and walk through Ireland 

Your warm hand in mine

You’d bake tiramisu for me

Burn your tongue on soup for me

And I miss it in every way

 

6. Congenital

Were her veins too deafening?

How funny, to fall in love with her outside

But not the rotting lungs and cracked bones

She is not just skin and skin and skin

 

Your own personal porcelain doll

A commodity or two with sprinkled specks

But revealing the un-washable stains

That decorate her skin and skin and skin

 

Each time you showed your horrid flaws

Perfection twisted in her pretty mind

Each time she revealed her little stains

Further and further from perfection she strayed

 

She is not just skin and skin and skin

You are not just soft and warm and gentle and right

But she chooses to see you in a better light

But her callouses are too defined in your eyes

You’re ashamed and you’re guilty of your lies

 

She is not just skin and skin and skin

Next time choose to love someone’s rotting insides

And their ugly heart valves and broken veins

Let her be a phoenix and from ashes she’ll rise

Her porcelain skin was as white as cocaine

But she is not just skin and skin and skin