The Two Holics

Fighting Words Cork, Scoil Naomh Padraig, Kanturk, 6th Class, 02 December 2025

Paddy and Jim were working in the cheese factory. They are best friends for life. They were the only people that weren’t children working in the factory. They went to the pub every night.

Paddy and Jim were no ordinary people. Jim used to be an ordinary mouse, but one day he got stuck in a cheese machine. When he emerged from the cheese machine, he was half mouse, half mozzarella stick. Soon after, he became a cheese-a-holic and Paddy his friend, was an alcoholic who couldn't stop drinking.

Ever since Jim was little, he has been working hard, all day everyday, to become CEO of the cheese factory. One day they got sick of working and Paddy started eating all the children and Jim started stealing and eating the cheese. ‘Pig on the loose!!!’ shouted John Beef who was the CEO of the factory.

‘I can’t do this anymore’ said John Beef. Eventually all the cheese ran out. Jim started disintegrating. Jim died and Paddy revived him with an extra large cheese stick. Jim was shivering in his boots. When he was pushing the mozzarella stick on Jim it was bit wonky because he was drunk. Then John Beef shouted ‘I quit!’ and ran out the door.

Paddy and Jim decided to make the cheese factory their new home. They had to find a way to get unlimited cheese, but how? Paddy had an idea, what if they captured a load of mice and put them into the cheese machine. Paddy was trying to get some cheese and he fell into the hot cheese machine. Memories floated back to Jim…