St Patrick’s Day of Terror
St. Michael’s House, Playwriting Workshops, 5th and 12th February 2025
This dramatic and exciting play was written by young writers that attend St. Michael’s House in Rathmines on the 5th and 12th February 2025.
Characters:
Dermot is from Ireland.
Amanda is from Japan
A Leprechaun
Mayhem the Leprechaun
Policeman
Scene 1
Two friends are going to the St. Patrick’s Day parade in Dublin city on March 17th. There are lots of people around, they are moving everywhere. It’s fun, a bit chilly, but a bit scary. Amanda and Dermot are on the bus and there is a Leprechaun on the bus.
A Leprechaun
Grrrr!! Hello, Grrr!
Amanda
Please go away!
Dermot (he gives the thumbs up sign)
It’s ok!
A Leprechaun
Grrr! Shut up!
Dermot
The parade is good. It is full of green and yellow colours. There is going to be marching and face-painting.
Amanda
I’m excited!
She starts a dance and starts banging her feet. Everyone on the bus starts banging their feet too.
A Leprechaun
Die! Die! Die people! Hey you, go away! You get away Dermot for 5 years and 15 months.
He jumps down onto his knees.
Dermot
You behave yourself baby or we will call the police!
Scene 2:
News Announcer
Everybody be careful. There is a Leprechaun on the loose. Close the doors and windows. He has a loud voice and he is very angry. People, don’t go outside. It’s very dangerous and don’t go into town. It’s closed. The parade is cancelled.
Lotus Cup, who is a superhero, can move like a frog. She bounces into the bus and talks to the Leprechaun.
Lotus Cup
Here, would you like some Leprechaun treats?
A Leprechaun
Oh, yes, give me those Leprechaun treats.
Lotus Cup
Calm down and I will give you the treats.
The Leprechaun gets very excited. The police arrive.
Policeman
Hey you, Leprechaun. Calm down and get in the car.
The Leprechaun resists and the policeman puts him in handcuffs. Now the parade can start again.
Scene 3
Dermot and Amanda are going having fun at the parade. Everybody is dancing too to the sound of Riverdance – they all say yup! On the way home, they have a pint of Guinness in a pub and get drunk – a bit tipsy.
They eat potatoes and Irish stew. They go to a dance. We hear a tin whistle and bodhran playing. The leprechaun comes back but the policeman has some handcuffs. Ringo turns up too. Mayhem the Leprechaun turns up at the parade. He yawns as he is very tired.
Mayhem the Leprechaun
Welcome to the black parade, foolish mortals. I bring destruction and darkness and shadows.
Policeman
Hold it right there! You are going to go to prison for 7 years, 11 months and 15 days.
Lotus Cup
Everybody needs to do some yoga and calm down. Namaste!
Mayhem the Leprechaun
This party never stops and time is dead and life has no meaning. Existence is upside down.
Lotus Cup
Calm down. Namaste! Have a pint of Carlsberg beer!
Policeman (scratching his head and claps his hands):
Do you think this is funny?
Mayhem the Leprechaun
Oh my eye. Mayhem was never my name. I am Bill Cipher, Space Demon. I am trapped in the nightmare realm for years. I am trillions of years old.
Lotus Cup
Namaste! Oh no! I think you were sleepwalking. I can help you.
Mayhem the Leprechaun
I control time, space, matter. Flat world with flat dreams, I destroy my world.
Policeman
Enough! Enough! Stop it right now! You will go to prison for 20 months.
Mayhew the Leprechaun
I am King from the Second Dimension, Euclydia.
Policeman
Oh my, my, my, my…. It’s straight to the station for you Mayhem!
Lotus Cup
And goodbye!
Scene 4
Dermot smiles at Amanda.
Dermot
It’s going to be ok.
Amanda
Arigato!
Dermot gets a bit shy.
Dermot
Thank you!
Lotus Cup
Namaste!
Epilogue:
Mayhem the Leprechaun is in the police van and we hear him say:
Mayhem the Leprechaun
The end of days will come. I am going to destroy your world. I will be watching you!
Watch out Bill Cipher will return . . .
