A New Romance
This exciting new short play was written by Kate, Mila, Gwyn and Saule from the 150 sessions group at Child Vision, Drumcondra, Dublin.
Characters
Emiline, 19, she is dramatic, stressed, loves Starbucks, loves make-up and skin care, jewellery, exaggerates the truth, she is currently doing her leaving examines, she wants to break up with the hubby. Canadian.
Karyn, 45, moody all the time, blonde hair, wants everything her way, rude, she wears expensive jewellery, and keeps saying YAHHH trying to be posh English but she actually Irish.
Victor, 21, long bushy beard with black hair (no mustache but trying to grow it) black glasses, mean and aggressive, American, mysterious background. Cranky.
Margarita, Concierge, 22, Italian.
Grace
Flight Attendant
Scene One
Dublin Airport. 8am, 13th September 2019.
Emiline
Excuse me, Mam that’s my seat.
Karyn
I’m sorry, Mam but I was her first.
Emiline
I booked this seat three months ago.
Karyn
It sucks to be you!
Emiline
That’s no way to speak to a fellow passenger.
Karyn
Get lost!
Emiline
For crying out loud, I’m going to report you to the flight attendant.
Karyn
I don’t care, fire ahead.
Emiline
Now the plane is shaking, and that’s all your fault. I’m going to collapse.
Karyn
Can you just shut up!
Emiline
But I’m pregnant.
Karyn
You’re not! Its just and excuse and you probably have a fake bump.
Emiline
I am . . . I’m 19, I’m recovering from my teenage hormones and I have an aggressive husband who goes to the pub all the time and comes home half drunk at 4am.
Karyn
Why are you telling me this, how many weeks pregnant are you?
Emiline
Three.
Karyn
Three weeks is nothing. Some people have a much harder time out than you do, they can’t even stand up.
Just then Victor appears, speaking loudly to someone on his phone.
Flight Attendant
Excuse me, Sir, you need to get off that phone call, put your phone on flight mode and put on some headphones we’re taking off in about three minutes.
Victor
What’s your problem y’all!
Flight Attendant
If you don’t get off that phone immediately, I will contact the airport police and get you arrested for being such a disrespectful passenger.
Victor
Emiline, what’s the pwoblem with this fight attendant.
Flight Attendant
You are drunk and shouldn’t be drunk on this flight.
Karyn
Excuse me flight attendant you are the one who gives out the drinks in the first place, it’s all your fault.
Flight Attendant
He was already drunk before he got on the flight.
Karyn (under her breath)
Okay, slug-brain.
Victor (Snarky)
I think you’re a little bit lost Ms. should you not be in the cock-pit.
Flight Attendant
Excuse me Mam, I just heard you just say that you are pregnant, would you like an upgrade to first class.
Karyn
Excuse me, Mam she is not pregnant, she is faking it - but I am.
Flight Attendant
It’s you who is faking it, you don’t look tired and sick.
Karyn
She is such an attention seeker. I’m going to throw up any second.
Emiline
Look, first you wanted my window seat, now you want my first class seat, well honey you are going to have to move your boney back side further if you want my first class seat.
Flight Attendant
Let’s just take off now, we’ve been negotiating this for 30 minutes now.
Everybody gets in their seats and the flight takes off to Texas.
Victor
Let’s go get drunk with some cowboys.
Scene Two
In the lobby of The Dallas Hotel, Texas.
Karyn
Wait, hold on cowboys and cowgirls what are you both doing here, I thought I got rid of you at the airport?
Emiline
It’s absolutely none of your business.
Victor
Don’t speak like that, Babes.
Emiline
Hold on a second you didn’t hear the way she spoke to me earlier because you were too busy on you’re stupid phone call.
Victor lets out a playful giggle.
Victor
Remember we’re here to check the baby and we don’t want your Mammy and Daddy to find out that their little girl is pregnant.
Emiline
Why would you say that, Victor!
Victor
Because you’re my little baby.
Emiline
I hate you. So much.
Victor
Relax, Emiline. Take a breath in one, two, three four and a deep breath out one, two, three, four.
Karyn
Is Emiline a little girleen now, is she?
Emiline
Shut up you idiot, this is none of your business.
Hotel Concierge
Bon giorno, Senior and Senorita, let me check in and get you both up to your room. I’m a sick tired off of this gossiping and nonsense in front of my counter.
Scene Three
Emiline wakes up in at 4.30am in her hotel room. Victor is on the phone and we hear the sound of a woman laughing in the background.
Victor
Looks like the weather is going to be nice today . . .
Grace (on loud speaker)
Did you drink a lot yesterday evening, Victor.
Emiline
What the hell is going on here?
Victor
Who are you? You scared me. I’m speaking to my work colleague now get lost.
Emiline
Excuse me, it’s 4.30am. I’ve been your girlfriend for the past three years and now you are cheating on me?
Victor
Darling, it’s okay go back to sleep and rest your little head.
Emiline
How do expect me to go to sleep when you are talking another girl on the phone?
Victor
Geez, will you chill your beans.
Emiline gets up from the bed and leave the room. She goes to the reception area.
Margarito
What is your name?
Emiline
Emiline.
Margarito
How can I help you, Emiline?
Emiline
My 21 year old snake of a husband just left me and now I’m on my own and three weeks pregant.
Margarito
Would you like me to show you the fancy part of the hotel?
Emiline
I would absolutely love that. Thank you so much.
Margarito
Prego.
Emiline
What?
Margarito
Oops I did it again, I was speaking Italian.
Emiline
No, it’s fine I would love learn the Italian language.
Just then the lift door opens to the penthouse.
Margarito
Look at this Emiline, this is the most spectacular view in all of Texas.
Emiline
Wow this is truly beautiful.
Margarito
Would you like a nice walk along the rooftop and a margarita from Margarito?
Emiline
Would you mind telling if you mean a pizza or a drink?
Margarita
I mean a homemade Margarita pizza.
Emiline
What do you mean homemade?
Margarita
It’s made by the Italian chef Alessandro.
Emiline
That would be absolutely fabulous, I would love that.
Margarita
Would it to be date or just a friends?
Emiline
Oh my goodness, I’m flattered. You’re such a gentleman.
While Emiline is having a romantic date upstairs Victor wakes up with a terrible hangover and can’t even talk.
SCENE FOUR
Back in the hotel. Emiline walks into her room.
Emiline
Hey Honey, great news I’m leaving you!
Victor
UCHHHH God, I feel like crap.
Emiline
Figure it out yourself! I’m leaving with the concierge.
Victor
Good, I’m out with Grace anyway.
Emiline
You drunken cowboy you can’t even ride a horse never mind being a good partner. I’m blocking you on my phone and I’m leaving.
Margarita walks into the room.
Margarita
Let’s go honey. Ciao, Victor.
Victor
Get your dirty hands off my wife!
Emiline takes her wedding ring off and throws it at Victor. Victor walks backwards trying to catch the ring and falls over the balcony and lands in the ocean and is eaten by shark.
The End!
