D1 Verses D4

This fun short play was written by participants at CAMHS day hospital on North Great Georges Street, Dublin on Tuesday 7th April 2026.

Characters
Brian, 42, cranky, balding, short, just got fired from his job.
Jacinta, 35, greying, impervious, authority figure, works at HR for a company, is going through a divorce.

Scene One
DART. From Tara Street to Connolly Station.

Brian

Do you mind that’s my seat?

Jacinta

There’s a hundred other seats on the train.

Brian

Well this one is mine!

Jacinta

How is it?

Brian

I always sit here.

Jacinta

Find somewhere else.

Brian

I guess I’ll just sit across from you then.

Brian sits down opposite Jacinta.

Jacinta

Why?

Brian

You will get up at some point.

Jacinta

I just find it weird that you’re sitting next to me.

Brian

It’s a public train.

Jacinta

Yeah and you have an obsession with sitting here and freaking me out.

Brian

I lost my job.

Jacinta

Why are you telling me this?

Brian

I’m looking for a job.

Jacinta

Do you really think I’m going to help you after you started to creep me out!?

Brian

Maybe?

Jacinta

Tell me more about why I should help you?

Brian

If I’m determined enough to ask a random stranger, you know I’ll work hard.

Jacinta

Well, how did you lose your last job?

Brian

I worked for an insurance firm.

Jacinta

That’s not what I asked you?

Brian

Someone kept picking on me.

Jacinta

There is an opportunity that I know of/

Brian

/Where?

Jacinta

Roberts Kennedy Insurance Company.

Brian

Oh never mind.

Jacinta

What do you mean never mind?

Brian

They have really bad HR there!

Jacinta

Who said that?

Brian

I would know.

Jacinta

What’s your name?

Brian

Brian.

Jacinta chuckles.

What are you laughing for?

Jacinta

I just thought of something that happened earlier today.

Brian

What happened?

Jacinta

Why were you fired, Brian?

Intercom

Next stop Connolly, Mind the Gap.

Brian

This is my stop. I have to go.

Brian gets up to leave the train.

Jacinta

By the way I fired you today!

Brian looks back in shock and loses his footing and falls into the gap. Jacinta gets up and walks towards Brian and steps on his fingers.

Jacinta

Karma!

Jacinta walks away.

Scene Two

People outside the court wearing t-shirts that say ‘Justice for Brian’. Inside the Court.

Judge

I now bring this court to order. We will now hear from the plaintiff.

Barrister for Brian

This wench brutally assaulted my client while he was already in a vulnerable position stuck in the gap between and train and a platform.

Barrister for Jacinta

Objection defamation.

Barrister for Brian

On what grounds.

Barrister for Jacinta

Calling my client a wench.

Judge

Order, order in the court. We will now hear from a witness. Mr Gary Fogerty please come to the stand.

Mr Gary Fogerty

I was shooing off a pigeon on the platform when that mad yoke stood on his fingers, I wouldn’t mind only he was on his last leg stuck between a rock and hard place.

Barrister for Jacinta

Objection relevance Judge, what does a pigeon have to do with anything?

Mr Gary Fogerty

Look, that’s what bleedin’ happened and you wouldn’t know because you’re one of those D4 Brown Thomas heads.

Judge

Calm down Mr Fogerty.

Barrister for Brian

Look here, my poor client Brian has had emotional and physical injury due to this evil individual’s acts and we would like the appropriate restitution of €100,000 and for justice to be served with an appropriate jail sentence.

Scene Three

Dochas Prison.

Ms Bourke

You shouldn’t have been jailed.

Jacinta

Can you get me a phone?

Ms Bourke

What for?