Leap of Faith

Thomas McGlynn

Poetry

Temple Carrig School,

Wicklow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The main thing about growing up is that your conversations change 

From “two plus two?” to “How’d I calculate the mean, median or the range?”

The TV shows I watched as a child, taught me to get away with things like lying to my mother, 

And how to get forgiveness when she caught me: they taught that I should hug her 

But today those things aren’t important anymore. 

 

These days we sit on park benches, eating chips,

watching annoying dogs chase balls or sticks, 

and asking questions we never needed to ask before 

Questions like “Is there a Creator? Does He exist?” or 

“Does using a pick-up line on a girl actually make you score?” and 

“Does hard work really lead to success?” 

Up until now I’ve heard the obvious answer: “Yes!” 

 

Yet I can’t help but think about all the people who’d disagree, 

Because they’ve work hard their entire lives for no financial guarantee 

Are those people unlucky? That answer is complex, 

At least they don’t think that expensive clothes will eventually set you free 

Maybe I say that because I’m ungrateful, even though I try not to be 

Happiness can only come from gratitude, I was told that in a dream 

It’s a pity I didn’t receive that advice on the day that I was born 

Instead I used go to mass every Sunday, in the Catholic tradition 

I used to pray every night, but nothing came to fruition 

I began to lose faith, then I surrendered to suspicion 

I started to consider myself a free-thinker, a rebel against the norm 

As a believer in evidence and facts, I wasn’t ready to conform 

I thought, “Why do bad things happen to good people? 

Why are there wars, famines, cancers and car crashes? 

Why does poverty exist, why is our society unequal?” 

Expectations were really just disappointments in disguise 

I started waiting for the worst so that failure wouldn’t come as a surprise 

I wanted as little to do as possible with the stupid theist infection 

I spent too long in that shell, depriving myself of real direction 

What I didn’t understand was that there are things that even science can’t explain; 

Whenever anything happens either it is coincidence or it was pre-arranged 

Chasing temporary passion to fill parts of you that are empty won’t get you anywhere 

I only felt complete when my lust became love as I held that fascinating stare 

I saw infatuation frozen in her pair of infinite eyes, wow, they were beautiful, 

And even though they were the same eyes that hurt me later on, 

For me it’s still those magical moments that have made the proof for God seem irrefutable 

I’ve learned to value existence after seeing first-hand that we’re all only two steps away from being dead; 

Certain experiences have scared me into living every day of my life with purpose and intent 

Grief is the tragic side of living, but it’s that sadness that makes us feel alive 

The way I see it is that we each have to find meaning in order to survive 

I asked Him to tell me what He wants me to be, and I’ll be it 

I’m still hoping for a reply, and I could be waiting the rest of my life for it to arrive 

But I’ve decided to take that leap of faith, and hope that I’ll land on a mattress, 

For now I’ll keep walking this road until I find true happiness.

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