Job Interview

By Betty Crichton (2017)

Character 1: Razor
Character 2: Stanley

Razor: I think I’m going to get the coconut pancakes, what about you?

Stanley: Probably the same thing.

Waiter comes over and they place their orders

Stanley: So what are you going to do with your life Razor? You are currently living in your mom’s attic surrounded by old books and sad looking Christmas decorations. Plus it smells disgusting.

Razor: I don’t know but it’s not that bad… I could say the same about you. You’ve never kept a job for over a month, you either do or say something to offend someone and get fired or you get bored and quit.

Stanley: It’s not my fault they get offended easily.

Razor: How many jobs have you had?

Stanley: Seventeen.

Razor: Not fair! I can’t even get one job.

Stanley: Maybe that’s because you insist people call you Razor instead of your real name, George.

Razor: But I don’t like that name.

Stanley: Just go by George for interviews.

Razor: Fine

Waiter brings their food over

Stanley: How about we do a fake interview.

Razor: What? Why?

Stanley: So you can get better at them.

Razor: Fine.

Pause

Stanley: Hello, what is your name sir?

Razor: Raz- um I mean George

Stanley: Okay George, what is your reason for wanting this job?

Razor: Money

Stanley: Razor you can’t say money. It’s got to sound a lot more professional.

Razor: Um… financial stability.

Stanley: Fine at least it sounds better. What do you know about this company? Pretend it is a shoe shop.

Razor: You sell shoes.

Stanley: Elaborate.

Razor: This company helps their customers decide what shoes they want and gives them information about the shoe.

Stanley: How did you find out about the company?

Razor: A friend

Stanley: Why should you get the job?

Razor: I’m a very patient person and would work well with my colleagues.

Stanley: Ok I think you are ready for a real interview.

Razor: What? But you only asked me like five questions, there are usually a lot more.

Stanley: I know but I got bored.