Boxing Clever

By Janelle Quinn (2017)

John: is a 32-year-old man from Clondalkin. He is married to Bianca Reid he is a boxing trainer. He works for his wife in a boxing club.

Bianca: is 30 years old and she is from London. She is John’s wife. She is a boxing trainer and owns her own boxing club.

John and Bianca are sparring in the ring in Bianca’s club where they both work in Tallaght in South Dublin. It’s 8pm. They dance around each other as they practice their boxing.

Bianca:           Ah I’m starving. What are we going to eat?

John:              Sure I’ll bring ya for a Nando’s after this. They got a deal on ten chicken wings for a fiver.

Bianca:           (Unenthusiastically) Ah great. By the way you know Sarah’s wedding is on this Saturday right? You need to get a hair cut.

John:             (Slightly irritated) I’m getting one. I’m booked in for tomorrow.

John picks up the gloves and Bianca starts to box them. They continue to do this for

two minutes. John’s phone goes off.

Bianca:           Are you not going to answer that?

John takes phone out of pocket, looks at it and puts it away again.

John:              Ehhh… not now. Come on, keep going.

Bianca keeps sparring with John.

Bianca:           Who was it?

John:              Oh just one of the boys.

Bianca:           If it’s one of the boys let me see so.

Bianca stops sparring.

John:              (irritated) I told you its one of the boys. Why are you making such a big deal out of it?

Bianca:           (Starts boxing with a bit more passion) Because I’m sick of listening to your stupid excuses all of the time … (she stops boxing) You’re getting on well with that girl.

John:              (Defensively) Who are you talking about?

Bianca:           That tall blond one you’re (making air inverted commas) “TRAINING” and who you keep giving pep talks to….

John:              (Defensively) I don’t know what you’re saying. I’m not listening to you anymore. I’m getting bleedin’ sick of it. Look, I love you babes. Don’t need anyone else.

Phone rings.

Bianca:           Ok so show me the phone.

John:              (turns off the phone. Annoyed.) It’s Damo. Why are you always bleedin’ annoying me? (He gives her the pads. She takes her gloves off. He starts boxing the pads.)

Bianca:           Well I think that Damo bloke is a very bad influence on you. It’s time for him to grow up and take all them Man Utd posters down from his bedroom.

John:              (John starts boxing the pads more violently) What’s it got to do with you? Why are you so worried about it you bleedin’ weirdo?

Bianca:           I’m not worried about him. I’m worried about you. When are you gonna grow up and start acting like a man?  (She throws the pads onto the floor and puts her gloves back on.)

John:              I am a man

Bianca:           Well, why are you so bothered about that blondie yoke? I gave you a job here you know?

John:              (Dismissively) Yeah alright pal.

Bianca:           (Angry) Is that all you have to say?

John:              Ah would ya go away ya weirdo?

Bianca:           All right then John. (She squares up to him) You know what?…I don’t need this anymore. You know what you can do? You can go and find another club and another blondie.

John:              Ah no Bianca, you know I wouldn’t do that to you. Babes … I love you.

Bianca:           Yeah whatever

(Bianca hits John two boxes and he falls over. He tries to get back up to give her an

uppercut but she’s already gone, having flung his gloves back in the ring).

End Scene.