Beetlemania

By Alex, Henry, Molly, Orla, and Steven (2017)

Characters:
Narrator
Centipeedle
Zookeeper
Question Mark (QM)

Introduction:

Narrator:                    Welcome to the zoo for different beetle things!

Centipeetle:                (screams)

Zookeeper:                 This is the Centipeetle. He’s saying that he wants a Mcvities digestive biscuit. I’ve got a translator for it. I’ll put it on now.

Centipeetle:                I want a Mctivies digestive biscuit now!

Swordabeetle:            I’m Swordabeetle. I’m the better beetle. Oh stop talking Centipeetle, you’re annoying everyone plus you can’t eat with that eye.

Zookeeper:                 And I'm the Zookeeper! My enemy is Nelly, the Evil Banana because she always wants to steal my animals what are very hard to find. Here she is now with her servant, Question Mark.

(Nelly walks on. Question Mark follows asking questions.)

QM:                            Why you are here? What are you doing? Can we go home? I’m bored.

Nelly:                          Go home then!

QM:                            But I need you to drive me home in the Banana mobile.

Scene 1:

Narrator:                    This is where our story begins…

It was a warm night and the Zookeeper couldn’t sleep. It was too hot.

Zookeeper:                 I’m too warm. I’ll go and check on the beetles. (Goes into beetle cage and sees Centipeedle gone) Oh no! The Centipeedle’s gone. It must have been Nelly the Evil Banana, she always preferred the Centipeedle.

QM:                            But I’m obviously the better beetle.      

(From inside Banana Mobile)

Centipeedle:               No, you’re not.

QM:                             I am!

Zookeeper:                Oh no! They’re in the banana mobile that travels really fast will never be able to be catcher them.

Nelly:                          Stop shouting you’re distracting me! Do you know how hard it is to drive a giant banana on wheels?

QM:                            Then why did you pick a giant banana as a car?

Nelly:                          Oh stop talking.

QM:                                     But why?

Scene 2:

Narrator:                    Nelly the Evil Banana’s Castle what is a castle made for bananas which she just made of banana peels.

(She storms in)

Narrator:                    Now that I’ve got the Centipeedle, I can track down more of his kind to set up a zoo and finally earn some money to set up a castle and not just one of banana peels.

QM:                            Why do you prefer the Centipeedle? Clearly, the Swordabeetle is better.

Nelly:                          Because I don’t want the lair to spell like fish for a start!

Centipeetle:                I don’t like the banana, but she’s right!

Narrator:                    Nobody wants to go near the Banana peel castle because they might slip.

QM:                            What’s for dinner? I’m hungry. I’m bored. All we had for breakfast is banana. When do we do now with the Centipeedle? He’s spitting all over my food.

Nelly:                          Whaaa?

QM:                            The Banana’s I stole from you, sure.

Nelly:                          Enough of this silliness. Bring The Centipeedle to the clone machine!

QM:                            What is the clone machine? Why do you keep using bananas? It is made of Bananas? Why haven’t we eaten yet? Apples are better than bananas.

(Exit)

Scene 3:

Narrator:                    Back into the zoo, the Zookeeper and the Swordbeetle are making a plan to save the Centipeedle.

Zookeeper:                 I’ll make him say you’re the better one…

Swordbeetle:              Yeah, right.

Zookeeper:                 The Zoo will close if we don’t have enough beetles. No food. No nothing.

Swordbeetle:              (shocked face) Not my cod, tuna plus crab!

Narrator:                    The Swordbeetle says this a little slurred because his sword is lodged into his food, a great white shark.

Swordbeetle:              OK. Fine. I’ll help. As long as I set a humpback whole when I’m done.

Zookeeper:                 Yeah. Sure. Thank’s sooo going to happen…

Scene 4:

Narrator:                  A half hour later, they had a plan. They would swim under the moat of bananas smootie at the Banana’s Castle and the Swordbeetle would use his nose to pick the lock. At the moat, the Zookeeper is disgusted.

Zookeeper:                 Urgh, I hate Banana smoothie.

Swordbeetle:              Maybe I could cut the chain to left the drawbridge down, so you don’t have to swim into Sword nose to drop the drawbridge. They both cross.

Zookeeper:                 (Whispers) Yay, thank you. A big humpback whale for you!

Narrator:                    Once inside, the pair head for the kitchen  thinking  Nelly must have stolen Centipeedle to eat. Question Mark is in the kitchen happily cooking.

Scene 5:

Narrator:                    Outside the kitchen’s glass door.

QM:                            Oh I have to do everything for her. Why is she so annoying? She gives me no food, so I have to cook my own. Hashtag soannoying.

Narrator:                    When they overhear QM giving out about Nelly, they have an idea.

Zookeeper:                 Maybe we can tell him we heard it all and we can persuade him to help us find Centipeedle.

Narrator:                    They enter the kitchen.

Zookeeper:                 We heard you were talking and we won’t say anything to your master if you help us find Centipeedle.

Narrator:                    Question Mark is afraid of Swordbeetle so he agrees.

QM:                            Ok. As long as you don’t let him poke me.    

Scene 6:

Narrator:                    Inside the castle prison, Centipeedle is being held in a cage. Question Mark leads Zookeeper and Swordbeetle in.  

QM:                            He’s over there. I have the key in my pocket.

Centipeedle:               Oh finally you’re here. I’ve been missing my digestives.

Swordbeetle:              Hi Centipeedle, it’s lucky that I’m out of jail and you aren’t. I’m tougher.

Centipeedle:               Oh really! I’m tougher, you wouldn’t last five minutes.

Zookeeper:                 Break it up, we have to leave before…

Narrator:                    The fight is too loud. Nelly storms in.

Nelly:                          What’s all this racket! Well. Well. Well. What have we got here. You really thought you could escape.

Narrator:                    Question Mark slips away. The Zookeeper and beetles go to leave, but Nelly blocks their way. Question Mark returns with a surprise.

QM:                            I NEVER LIKED YOU! (from behind the door) I’M GONNA GIVE YOU WHAT YOU DESERVE! BROUGHT YOU A PRESENT!

Narrator:                    Just them a Monkey comes into the room he sniffs the air, but then sees Nelly.

Nelly:                          NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MONNNNKEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY.

Narrator:                    Exit Nelly persued by Monkey.

Everyone is happy and jump around. Centipeedle explodes.

The End.