Fighting Words at St Patrick’s Cathedral, Jonathan Swift 350 Festival, 25 November 2017
Once upon a time there was a land called Anatopia. In Anatopia there lived a turtle named George. He lived in a small pineapple.
George had a very loud neighbour who lived in a coconut. Her name was Rebecca the unicorn.
Every year George the turtle tried out for the Reef Race, and every year he came last. And every year Sammy the shark came first.
George was at home having a cup of tea with his best friend Shelly the tortoise.
“This year you have another chance,” said Shelly.
George was feeling depressed. “I have no hope this year,” replied George.
Just then they heard some loud music coming from next door.
The teacups started to vibrate and the teapot was shuffling dangerously close to the edge of the table.
George tried to catch the teapot, but he was too slow, and it shattered onto the floor. George slammed his flippers on the table in slow motion.
“I feel useless. I’m too slow to beat Sammy,” said George.
“At least you broke the teapot that your auntie gave you. You never liked it,” said Shelly.
Then there was a knock on the door…